It was confusing and full of hummus
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
