What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You smell like stripper and shame
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
All the doctor said was why
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
