think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
