I'm jealous of your bromance
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
