Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
