Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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