I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
