Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
