Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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