I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
3pm strippers are depressing
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
