Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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