Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
