You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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