I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
