i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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