if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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