wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
