right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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