Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
