there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
