I smell stomach acid.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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