like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
