well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
