whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
