my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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