Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
