Since when is my name a synonym for head?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize