next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
