Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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