Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
