As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
