if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
