Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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