once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Sext me about skeletons
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize