Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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