A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
