: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
