4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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