So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
