whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I AM VODKA MAN
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
