Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I want a musical about memes.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
