In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
