One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize