So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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