oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
