What did we do last night that was yellow?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
