It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
