ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
