do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
