she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize