It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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