Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
