Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
