Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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