Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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