dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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