he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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