sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
