My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
