Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Acid is not a monday night drug
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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