I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
